Starting over is a great challenge but one you should not be afraid of. How can you overcome the fear of starting a new life?
It is already past midnight and here I am, sitting in front of my laptop, trying to put my thoughts in order. Tomorrow morning I will post all the necessary papers for the recognition of my degree in pharmacy and when that is finished I will start looking for a job. It was almost 2 months ago when my girlfriend and I immigrated from Greece to Germany, seeking better standards of life.
Although I know that I’m well prepared, tonight I feel the same fear and anxiety as back then. But why? Did I misjudge my own feelings? Was it not the separation from my family and my friends that made me so nervous the day I left home? Apparently not. After some thinking, I realized that what actually scared me back then and continues to do so even now,is, in fact, the fear of starting a new life.
In theory, many people are fond of the idea of leaving everything behind and starting over.
I suppose there are many decisions that you regret making or not making, just like I do, people that you want to get rid of, life conditions that you want to improve and in the end I bet it seems so much easier to simply reboot your whole life rather than trying to fix every single bit of it. But is it really?
What’s actually scary about starting over? Well, you give up on your whole life, is that not enough? You won’t be able to see the people you love and care about, the moment you want to. You might feel lonely and forgotten. Unless you are well prepared, it is possible that you will face financial difficulties, at least until you find a job and a place to call home. When you move within your homeland, things are easier, but what about immigrating? Learning a new language is no stroll in the park. It requires patience and everyday exercise and even then communicating is a real struggle. Not to mention that you will have to learn all the different laws, habits and other cultural characteristics that your new environment has. While trying to adjust to the conditions of your new life, you will start questioning yourself. “Am I worthy enough? Will I make it? What happens if I fail?”. This mixture of negative feelings and stressful thoughts is the fear of starting a new life. So… are you scared enough?
Don’t be! You can overcome this fear!
How? Well, being a man myself, I believe that the right mindset resembles a lot the way a man should approach a woman. Think about it. You are in a bar and you see a gorgeous woman, that you wish you could get to know. At this point, you are most likely trying to think of this 100% successful catchphrase that will make her instantaneously fall in love with you. But before you even realize it only negative thoughts cross your mind and you are eventually unable to move a muscle. If you are a man, you know what I’m talking about. You have surely felt that at some point in your life, most likely at a young age while trying to muster the courage to talk to the cute classmate of yours. So… Why did this happen? You could not act simply because your unconscious raised a wall within your mind with a huge red sign that says “STOP!”. That is what I call the “coward’s wall” and when it appears, sadly it is just too late.
To prevent this from happening there is really only one way.
People that are past this stage, know the answer. Most of them can’t actually put their finger on it, but they instinctively know what to do. And the very same procedure actually applies to overwhelming any kind of fear. The answer is this : Act before you even have the time to think! The more you think about every possible ending the scarier things appear to you. And guess what? They truly aren’t! It’s all in your head. It’s the fear of failure that holds you back but it doesn’t have to be that way. All you have to do is take the first step. You might stumble, but the second one will be easier and steadier, I promise. And before you know it, you are marching forward. The same idea can be applied whenever you feel uneasy. Do not wait until you are too frightened to do anything. Act before that happens and I guarantee that you will gain more confidence every step of the way.
Right now, I too feel petrified. I’m thinking that I cannot do it. But when I calm down, I understand that this is not true. Through difficulties, one learns about his true self. I honestly believe that. So I will face my fears simply by acting and prove myself worthy. Challenge accepted! It has always worked for me in the past, so there’s no reason why it shouldn’t work this time. My advice to you is to be confident, open minded and calm. Don’t let the fear of starting a new life get the best of you. Never be afraid of trying something new, just do it! Always keep in mind : overthinking solves nothing, acting does.